why don't we cry anymore?
« I wish people talked more about how soul-wrenching transitions can be, and about the panic that floods your system when you’re in the midst of one, wether it’s a breakup, the loss of a loved one, a job change, or any other unceremonious ending or new beginning. » - Elaine Welteroth in ‘More Than Enough’
I had a good cry before taking this photo. Followed by a peaceful release. We don’t cry enough. I don’t cry enough. I often feel the tears welling up while the eyes stay dry. Always dry. I may be telling myself: « it’s okay, Adriana, it’s safe to cry here » - but I seldom shed a tear.
I learnt too soon, too well to look strong. Don’t show weakness, keep hustling, don’t have anyone worried about you. Everything is fine, always. But what strength is there in denying reality? When your pain is numbed, how do you keep the joy un-numb?
I used to dream of myself as a warrior, holding a blade between clenched teeth. I’m still one - don’t get me wrong and don’t bite me - but now, i think of myself as an artist. Sensitivity is a gift. Without it there’d be no art. With it, heartbreak hits deeper inside your cells. But so does joy, shaking every fibers of your being.
« I can’t imagine anything more profoundly stupid than wanting to be seen as cool. The very meaning of the word suggests to me a lack of vibrancy, a sense of being cut off. Cool denies the frailties of living life and the inevitable loss of everything that is dear to us; it leaches the passion from life. […] For fuck’s sake, be hot! Be mad! Be witty! Be loving! Be heartfelt! Be sunny! Be fiercely cold! But, Jesus, don’t be cool! » - Larry Moss in ‘The Intent To Live’
2020 is a collective trauma and transition. Can we stop pretending to be cool? Can we accept that setbacks and sadness do not make us failures? Can we open our arms to welcome one another and mourn together? Let’s all be softies.